gifts – Dancing Angel

07/17/2017

I Hope You Dance

Five years. I’ve been posting here for five years.

In June of 2012, I decided to share my dance experience with the big, wide world. I thought that it would be a lot of fun to keep a record of my adventures in pre-professional balletland. I never dreamed that I would one day be able to watch myself evolve from a wannabe professional dancer into an author who loves to dance.

This blog has been many things to me, but looking at it today, it is only one thing: a gift. Plain and simple. I will forever remember where I came from and how I got here.

Who I am today has been influenced–in very large part–by my family, both immediate and adoptive. These five years have turned my dearest friends into sisters and brothers. They’ve turned my teachers into mentors. My passion for dance could never have existed or continued to exist without these people.

Here, I must admit that I’m hesitant to post this because I’m terrible at goodbyes. So, I’ll give you an update instead.

I am currently apprenticing with Ms. Sara in Pre-Training, learning the ins and outs of her teaching style that has made such an impact on my life. If I tried to sum up everything she’s taught me… well… I couldn’t. And I’m kind of trying not to cry, so here come the facts. The scary facts first, I suppose.

My family is moving again. Duh duh duhhhh (like you didn’t see that coming, amiright?)

Beginning in October, I will be apprenticing with Praxis, a nine-month-long entrepreneurial program. I plan to take both Advanced Worship and Advanced Modern this coming year, at least until the commute between work and the studio becomes impossible (but hey, you’re welcome to pray with me that that doesn’t happen!).

Happy fact, though: Praxis requires me to have a personal website. So, rather than saying goodbye, just meet me over here. Same me, new feel.

Still, I want my last words here to mean something. I’m 99% sure that this is how I ended my last post, but these are the words in my heart today, so I’m going to say them again.

When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I HOPE YOU DANCE.

And I’ll do the same.

Know every day that I appreciate you, lovely dancers, more than words could ever express. Thank you for your loyalty and your love. You have mine.

Always,

Aquinnah xoxo

05/23/2017

Recital 2017 (The One where I Graduate)

Even after weeks of careful planning, I still don’t know how to sum up this year… especially Recital. It came as it always does– with great anticipation. And it left as it always does, too– with many tears. For most of an entire day, I actually allowed myself to believe that my life post performance could go on as if nothing had changed, but as I watched my extended family and family friends drive away from their first trip to Colorado in years, I realized that my “normal” is no longer mine. It doesn’t even exist in my world anymore. For 12 years, minus summers, I’ve woken up to school. For several years, I’ve chased that with work. And for nearly 14 years, I’ve danced. And while I will no doubt continue to learn and grow, while being a productive member of society is important to me, while I will still dance–always–these things will never again be what they were before I graduated. Scary, huh?

It’s been a hectic, wonderful, exhausting, glorious month of dancing… and some other great stuff, too, which I’ll talk more about in a different post. I’m so grateful to my family, friends and teachers who unfailingly show me love, grace and support. Without them [and as generic and cheesy as it sounds], I would not be the person I am today. My parents have consistently taught me that change is inevitable, and even though it totally freaks me out, I’m glad to be entering this new chapter with 17 years of real life experience. So, thank you, Mom and Dad, for showing me what it means to keep moving forward and make a life.

Recital itself was, as Moriah put it, “anointed.” Strength and Dignity was the best it had ever been on Friday night. Pulling off such a hugely intricate dance always feels like a divine miracle, and this year was no different. As for Advanced Modern, people are still talking about the sheer lack of bamboo staff-dropping that went down in hushed, reverent tones. Darkness is Losing had the auditorium in tears during Intermission.

And my senior solo happened.

I think I expected to cry. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would’ve been too real. Instead, I relished in the intensely unfamiliar feeling of being onstage alone, of telling my story without speaking. I think I was glad when it was over, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to listen to “Welcome Home (You)” again, but I’m just so happy to have done it.

So, all in all, it was a fantastic weekend. But we called it “Show Week.” Yes, dress rehearsals. Yes, Recital. But the stuff in between is what turns friends into family and moments into experiences. On Tuesday, the seniors got together to create our senior gift– decorations for backstage and a note for each person in the Beauty in Motion Showcase. On Friday afternoon, we found out that our studio will be moving to a gorgeous new location next year and threw ourselves a party. Then, the seniors lead a worship time for anyone willing to participate. We prayed, and we cried, and hugged and cried some more. And then we danced, and sang, and screamed and cheered.

After the shows, my family turned my house into a flower garden and stuffed me full of cupcakes. *bows*

I honestly have to wonder, though, why anyone would not choose to dance. At least once. Just for that fraction of a second when time stops, and the whole world is alive with music. Just to be a part of something so different and so moving. That love is ingrained in me; I can’t get rid of it. So, even though I’m cutting my hair short on Thursday because no more ballet bun, I have just one thing left to say.

The next time you get a choice, I hope you dance.

Aquinnah

12/18/2016

Christmas Dances 2016 (in Denial)

Yeah, okay, so I’m in denial that Christmas performances are finished, and fall semester is over, and at this point, my diet pretty much consists of cookies and hot chocolate. But I think I’m finally getting over the tendonitis, and that’s about the best gift I could’ve asked for.

I will never forget the past few weeks. I don’t want to. By the time we performed Carol of the Bells for the last time, I was so shocked, I couldn’t even cry. My last Christmas dance at the studio… over. As I looked around at my beautiful dance family, I knew that I was home. My whole heart was there, and when I leave one day, part of it simply won’t be able to come with me. It’ll stay right there, in the studio, forever. For now, I’m not really ready to swallow that that day will come at all.

To my teachers and sisters: many hugs. Thank you for another crazy year of learning and laughter. Merry Christmas to all! I’ll never be able to thank God enough for giving me each of you.

xo Aquinnah

11/27/2016

The Stuff that Makes Me Happy

Happy belated Thanksgiving, America! At this–the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year–I have ever so many things to be thankful for. I’ve been blessed with a family who loves and supports me, with friends who grow alongside me, with teachers who want to see me improve and with a house that has green gables. I’m able to wake up each morning knowing that I am provided for, cherished and chosen for something that will make the lives of those I touch a little brighter. It is my hope that as the snow starts to fall and this semester ends, those people around me will know how much I support and cherish them.

And now that Thanksgiving Break is coming to a close, I remain grateful, in large part because I can finally play Christmas music without getting mean looks. The lights are up, and we just decorated our first real tree (you know, the kind that makes your house smell like a fir forest) in ten years. Good stuff.

It’s almost December, and that means lots of rehearsals and very little time for shopping. Between Achilles tendonitis for the second year in a row, two viruses and whatever I did to my shins yesterday, it has not been an easy semester. But I’ve learned a lot by watching. I’ve done a lot of praying. I taught myself to accept the FasciaBlaster. It’s frustrating, and painful, and like anyone, I occasionally have to hit the snooze button on my alarm. I made myself new boundaries, even when I wanted to push forward, and I’m glad I did. Knowing how to be kind to myself makes me feel like I’m doing something right.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be performing “Do You See what I See?” (worship), “Sweet Little Jesus Boy” (ballet) and “Carol of the Bells” (modern). On Friday, the Training Division and Advanced Modern will be performing locally, which I’m very excited about.

In other news, I’m finished choreographing my senior solo, “Welcome Home” and have picked a costume. In fact, all of my Recital costumes have been posted. Take a look…!

senior-solo-costume — Welcome Home (with pink ballet flats)

Aren’t they lovely? I’m thrilled. Our Training 3 costume will be black tights, a black leotard and a burgundy skirt with a belt, if I remember correctly.

Almost time for Rudolph. Have a wonderful week, beautiful dancers.

xo Aquinnah

06/12/201602/18/2019

Five Years of Ceaseless Adventure

I want to go. And I want to be human.

The beauty and eternal wonder of this earth–such a colorful, growing, changing earth–inspire my own creativity as the Creator makes for me a new adventure every single day. My name was written on His heart before I knew it myself, and I wanted to know it. My dreams, desires, fears and idiosyncrasies are always teaching me more and more about the living, breathing Aquinnah, in the midst of space and time. Like the earth, I’m always growing, always changing and adapting. It’s not always easy, not always fun– but it is a part of being human, and I am. I am only human. And I’m proud of that.

It is an overwhelming joy to wake up to a family who loves and cares for me, who is near even when far and who inspires me to continue growing and persevering, even when it’s hard. It is an enormous blessing to have friends who are honest with me, who stand up for me and who put up with my oddities on a daily basis in person, over the phone and through mail. It is an honor to learn from teachers who invest so much into making me stronger, healthier and generally happier. It is mind-boggling to know that you, my readers, from all over the world, have continued to read and support me for the last five years of my journey. I could never, never thank each beautiful person in my life enough for being. Just being. Being themselves, being in my heart and being human with me.

We survived Cecchetti exams, assistant teaching, Nutcracker, master classes and intensives, five pairs of pointe shoes, photo shoots, uncountable rehearsals and performances, sickness and injury, Firebird, an internship, tens of books and four birthdays. We thrived. And we’re not finished.

I live to scream without making a sound, moving out of time and into music. I love it. I wanted to come, and I wanted to dance. I want to inspire people as they inspire me.

So, thank you for five years of scribblings, and excitement, and worry and triumph. Thank you for listening without hearing my voice and following along with me as I continue to grow. This blog is a piece of my world– memories. And I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about them almost as much as I’ve loved living and writing about them.

Happy summer, lovelies! Twenty-three hours until dance. Ceaseless adventure.

This post is dedicated to the 125,000 beautiful babies who said, “I want to go,” and, today, were robbed of their chance and to Miss Bethanny, who told me to put chocolate milk in my cereal.

Much love,

I11.1

12/18/201502/18/2019

Christmas Dances 2015

I just love Christmas. I love snow, and hot chocolate (massive toss-up between peppermint and caramel right now), and movies (I think I’ve seen Elf three times already….), and pajamas, and bells and music.

I performed my final Christmas piece of the season yesterday, and I’m almost ready for break… because combined Training class, of course! Last week’s Friday lesson ended up being the nursing home outreach and a hot chocolate party, so I’m super excited to see what this final class of 2015 brings.

I’m having a terrible time cutting the video of Christmas Eve in Sarajevo, but if I ever figure it out, I’ll post a part of that right HERE. Before we performed the T3 piece, Miss Sara taught us the Spanish variation from Nutcracker. It was a good day.

Wednesday was rather awesome, too. We drank hot chocolate and created group pieces in jazz, and then I taught both ballet/tap and 1A. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first tap class as a teacher, but it was such a joy to work with the kiddos! The 1A kids learned half of the Sugar Plum variation, which was a total dream come true for me. By the smiles I was getting, I think the little ballerinas were pretty happy. 🙂 Christmastime is just the best.

Enjoy these hours leading up to the big day and a very happy New Year to you and yours,

Aquinnah

06/19/2015

Three Ways to Summer Semester

Going into summer semester at the studio can be exhilarating and exhausting all at once, so gear up for three ways to smile, be challenged and get into shape!

Three Ways to Make a Dancer Smile

Put her in modern class. Even though my modern-dancer pas de chats make me feel like I’m part of a western hoedown, I got to ditch the awkward Cecchetti arms for a class.
Tell her that she’s getting new pointe shoes in September. Russian pointes, I love you dearly, but oy with the poodles already. Every time I break you in, you come back stronger!
Drive her to the studio after three weeks. It’s like being home again. Coffee dates with sisters and sneaking up on baby bunnies– yep.

Three Ways to Challenge a Dancer

Put her in improv class. I left totally uncomfortable and racking my brain, so…. I think it was good. And I think it will get easier. For now, I’ll be shuffling up my iPod and thinking about dynamics.
Give her The Deathly Hallows and tell her to read a chapter without crying. Then, give her a blueberry muffin because that’ll help with the tears.
Tell her to do 56 releves on pointe. And then remind her to put her feet in a bucket of ice because otherwise, she’ll be in a lot of pain.

Three Ways to Get into Shape after Break

Stretch. And don’t forget. It’s important. I should know. I barely made it down the stairs this morning.
Learn how to do a jazz-style hitch kick. They’re ridiculously fun, even if I look ridiculous doing them.
Take class with teachers who really care about you and how you perform– teachers who know your best and want to see you excel. The best teachers make class challenging and instill passion; they’re truly one of God’s great gifts to humanity, and I’m blessed to be surrounded by them.

Here’s to a beautiful summer!

Aquinnah