Category: passion

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A New Beginning

M12Though a time of fallen things, this autumn will represent a new beginning for me. A new home on a new street (and just three minutes from someone very dear to my heart), new school courses and dance classes, new teachers and new perspectives are all just around the bend. My writing style seems to be changing against my will, my thought process evolving into one that is incessantly grasping for more– more answers, more knowledge, more patience, more peace. I want to be fluent in French, and play the piano and read books until my eyes pop out. And way ahead of the infamous Board, I have my college list made, my essays drafted, and one day soon, I’ll be ready to audition for a certain dance department. I’m locking the gate after the horse, but I haven’t posted quite as often this year as I have in years past, so I suppose I’m making up for it.

Change isn’t easy. But I’m ready for it this time.

In all reality, I was not expecting to update this blog. I wasn’t ready. I would never have been ready. But circumstances outside of my control have lead me here–to this fresh journal space–and I’m so pleased to be sharing with you the new Dancing Angel. My writings of the past five years remain here, though my formatting up until this post might look a little wonky. My ramblings and my pictures are intact, and you’re here, and that’s what matters.

Take a look around! There’s a lot to see. If you’ve never visited before, welcome! It’s so good to have you. My bio and contact information are in the left sidebar, along with my archives. And there’re a lot of good books and songs listed, too. You’ll notice that I am no longer connected to Google+, but never mind that. New beginnings all around, and here’s to them!

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” – Anne Shirley

xo Aquinnah 

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Summer Then and Summer Right Now

Summer at the end of May was a whirlwind– the beginning of change. I completed my junior year of high school and friends graduated. And I, in June, and despite my valiant efforts to ignore the fact, began my last summer at the studio.

June taught me to cope with the changes. Senior year can’t possibly be any more difficult than junior year, right? And true friends, even when apart, remain true in the end. Every day of my life is a testament to that. Likewise, dance remains dance, and I feel incredibly blessed to have experienced another summer at the studio, with my beloved family. I wouldn’t trade the past seven weeks for all the time in the world.
July had a few bumps, but I was able to attend the Desperation Conference with thousands of other teens, and it was there that I found within myself a Holy Spirit who called me, “fearless” and “free.” How beautiful it is to worship a God who can make the fearful brave.
One week into August, I am walking in the certainty that I am never alone. Thursday, Friday and Saturday, you could find me worshiping alongside my sisters at Gather, for our last performance of Daylight. It was an honor and a joy to meet so many new faces and to praise with them all. Thanks to Ms. Tina, Miss Athena, Miss Cheri and Ms. Sara for an eye-opening three days.
Summer right now is cardboard boxes and packing tape for my family’s twelfth move. It’s college applications, and senior solos and mixed emotions. All in all though, summer right now is pretty near perfect.

xoxo

Gather

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Five Years of Ceaseless Adventure

I want to go. And I want to be human.

The beauty and eternal wonder of this earth–such a colorful, growing, changing earth–inspire my own creativity as the Creator makes for me a new adventure every single day. My name was written on His heart before I knew it myself, and I wanted to know it. My dreams, desires, fears and idiosyncrasies are always teaching me more and more about the living, breathing Aquinnah, in the midst of space and time. Like the earth, I’m always growing, always changing and adapting. It’s not always easy, not always fun– but it is a part of being human, and I am. I am only human. And I’m proud of that.

It is an overwhelming joy to wake up to a family who loves and cares for me, who is near even when far and who inspires me to continue growing and persevering, even when it’s hard. It is an enormous blessing to have friends who are honest with me, who stand up for me and who put up with my oddities on a daily basis in person, over the phone and through mail. It is an honor to learn from teachers who invest so much into making me stronger, healthier and generally happier. It is mind-boggling to know that you, my readers, from all over the world, have continued to read and support me for the last five years of my journey. I could never, never thank each beautiful person in my life enough for being. Just being. Being themselves, being in my heart and being human with me.

We survived Cecchetti exams, assistant teaching, Nutcracker, master classes and intensives, five pairs of pointe shoes, photo shoots, uncountable rehearsals and performances, sickness and injury, Firebird, an internship, tens of books and four birthdays. We thrived. And we’re not finished.

I live to scream without making a sound, moving out of time and into music. I love it. I wanted to come, and I wanted to dance. I want to inspire people as they inspire me.

So, thank you for five years of scribblings, and excitement, and worry and triumph. Thank you for listening without hearing my voice and following along with me as I continue to grow. This blog is a piece of my world– memories. And I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about them almost as much as I’ve loved living and writing about them.

Happy summer, lovelies! Twenty-three hours until dance. Ceaseless adventure.

This post is dedicated to the 125,000 beautiful babies who said, “I want to go,” and, today, were robbed of their chance and to Miss Bethanny, who told me to put chocolate milk in my cereal.

Much love,

I11.1

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Recital 2016

Junior year of high school doesn’t end until Thursday, but Recital has come and gone. For one week now, I’ve been considering how to translate all that happened this year, and it’s almost too much to put into words. But, with over one million words to choose from, I’m going to try.

It was a weird year. I’m sure you’ve noticed. From school, to work, to dance, to driving a car, to watching friends graduate and blossom in college, my need for control has been tested time and again and has worn aggravatingly thin. This year’s Recital was bittersweet, as always, but it was short, too. Nobody planned for a blackout halfway through Spanish Dance, but the Training Division is blessed by spectacular teachers and a wonderful tech crew, and the dance went on as dances must. My need for cleanliness was nearly completely stripped away by Requiem for a Tower, pushing me to let go and accept imperfections that humbled me week after week. And I had to say goodbye– goodbye to the comfortable place in which I’ve enveloped myself for years and to the high school version 4.0 of some of my dearest friends. After God’s Warriors, only the second in all of my runs in which I didn’t miss a single turn, I had to make a decision regarding next year, and I think I chose right. I hope I chose right. I Will Sing of my Redeemer didn’t just push but shoved me out of my box and into a jazzy world that I now love. The costume turned my armpits purple, and I still have scratches from its sharp sequins, but I’m so proud to have tried something new. And as for Daylight… I’m so glad we’ll have the chance to perform it again this summer.

RP1 2016

The kiddos–all 50 of my beautiful students–taught me a lot this year, too. I learned lessons in choosing joy and peace and patience. Each of those girls means the world to me, and I’m honored to have been able to teach and to learn from them.

Maybe what has made this year seem so indescribably odd is “the gap.” The big, huge, overwhelming, gaping GAP between maturity and adulthood. On the phone a few weeks ago, I told my grandfather that I had tried not to grow up. In return, he told me, “It only gets better from here, hunny, and we’re all on your side.” And since then, I’ve stopped trying to bridge the gap. I’m choosing to believe that it’ll close when it’s time.

RP2 2016
Ady and I were a little tired after Showcase

And maybe that’s what control is actually. Maybe it’s the letting go and handing to God. Maybe it’s keeping an open mind and an open schedule because wonderful things happen every day, and I want to see them.

Thank you to my amazing parents, teachers and friends for a year that taught me more than words can truly say. I love you all to the moon and back.

xo Aquinnah
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Pause Please

M11.1

My word of the… day? week? month? year? is BLAH. Because sometimes, the English words, “happy,” “free,” “confused” and the rest of those ultimate Taylor Swift emotions don’t come to mind in time. I need a “pause” button.

Two months left of junior year of high school, praise God. Depressing Roman myths: it’s been fun, but I’m ready to move on with my life. Thank you for understanding. Oh, wait. Everybody dies in Roman mythology.

BUT (Here it comes….)! Two months of school means just six weeks until Recital. Four, actually, if you discount Picture Week and Dress Rehearsal Week. I received my last Recital costume of 2016 yesterday. It and my modern skirt are going to need some minor tailoring, but that’s no big deal. I’m far more worried about that quick change between God’s Warriors and I Will Sing of My Redeemer.

Dawn, God’s Warriors, Requiem for a Tower, Daylight and Spanish Dance have all been completed since my last post, with only I Will Sing of My Redeemer, Daddy’s Girl and Simple Gifts to join the list. How can a year seem so very long and so very short at the same time?

Yes, it’s a BTR song. As of right now, I think it sums up my life since Spring Break ended.
On Saturday, I had the privilege of participating in a promo video filming for the studio. More on that in May…!
I wish I could stay longer, but BLAH.
xoxo,
 
Aquinnah
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Christmas Dances 2015

I just love Christmas. I love snow, and hot chocolate (massive toss-up between peppermint and caramel right now), and movies (I think I’ve seen Elf three times already….), and pajamas, and bells and music.

I performed my final Christmas piece of the season yesterday, and I’m almost ready for break… because combined Training class, of course! Last week’s Friday lesson ended up being the nursing home outreach and a hot chocolate party, so I’m super excited to see what this final class of 2015 brings.

I’m having a terrible time cutting the video of Christmas Eve in Sarajevo, but if I ever figure it out, I’ll post a part of that right HERE. Before we performed the T3 piece, Miss Sara taught us the Spanish variation from Nutcracker. It was a good day.

Wednesday was rather awesome, too. We drank hot chocolate and created group pieces in jazz, and then I taught both ballet/tap and 1A. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first tap class as a teacher, but it was such a joy to work with the kiddos! The 1A kids learned half of the Sugar Plum variation, which was a total dream come true for me. By the smiles I was getting, I think the little ballerinas were pretty happy. 🙂 Christmastime is just the best.
Enjoy these hours leading up to the big day and a very happy New Year to you and yours,
Aquinnah
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DDD 2015

M5

Hey, Autumn! AUTUMN! No, move OVER, Winter… WINTER. I’m not TALKING to you! Autumn! SLOW DOWN!

*poof* Brain cells.
I can hardly believe that the first week of November has come and gone, leaving me with six Christmas dances, impending travels and a whole lot to write about.
DDD was this weekend, and though it was significantly different from last year’s fundraiser, I won’t soon forget it. I love Ms. Patrizia’s master classes, and I love the local high school, and I love my artsy community. My studio may stick out in a crowd… but that’s what happens when you pray, “Let us be light”.
Saying goodbye to Arise was hard. I didn’t want it to go. I think I could have performed it at every show for the rest of my life and been okay, but change is a necessary part of life, and A LOT of things are changing… hopefully for the better. While Pre-Training, ballet/tap combo and ballet 1A learn “Charlie Brown Medley” and “Born is the King”, I’m practicing Sugarplum and “Christmas Eve in Sarajevo” in Training 3; “Mary, Did You Know” in pointe; and “One Small Child” in modern. I’m also making college pro-con lists like a true Gilmore and trying to survive Personal Finance. Gotta love Personal Finance.
On the 30th of October (Wow, I’m behind…), we combined the Training Division in one awesome ballet class with Miss Bethanny and Miss Sara, as we’ll be doing each month through May. I hadn’t realized how big Training has become. I loved being able to meet our new family members. They’re awesome.
I’ve been teaching one combination per week in Pre-Training, and I’ll be teaching most of ballet 1A on Wednesday. I’m going to have to learn a whole lot of choreography on Thursday because next Thursday, I’ll be on my way to Clemson University. Fifteen-year-old me is beating up 16-year-old me right now, after being previously pummeled by 12-year-old me last week, but I’m really, really excited to get to South Carolina.
To new adventures,
Aquinnah