strong – Dancing Angel

03/07/2017

How Can It Be?

March? Almost spring [break]? So close to graduation? So close to Recital? Hold on– I’m gonna need to start over.

Where do I start?

In combined Training class last month, we were asked three questions. The first was one I could have written about all day: “What would you tell your younger self?” The second was along the lines of, “What life lesson have you learned through dance?” And the third– “What knowledge would you like to pass on to younger Training students?”

At the end of class, we were given the opportunity to share our responses. Honestly, I didn’t want to start sobbing right then (and I would have), but it’s just me and the words now, so here they are.

God wants all the best for you. It won’t always feel like it. You won’t always want to believe it. But you aren’t always going to be right. And He loves you more than anything. It’s okay. You have nothing to be afraid of. God is eternal. He has made you eternal.
Dance has taught me to keep moving forward, to keep pushing limits that I’ve created for myself. It’s taught me the difference between the things I can change and the things I must accept without fear or shame.
Not every day is easy. Not every day feels like a “dance day.” That’s okay. You are more than today– and you are more than dance. Dance is a wonderful and beautiful gift, but God has given you others.

I appreciated beyond words the heartfelt responses from my dance family. This post is for them. Plies are plies, but we’re ever growing as people, and what a priceless gift it is to be dancing together.

And I guess that brings me back to the title. This song has been played pretty consistently in worship class lately, and it rings beautifully true. The price of freedom is so high, but it has been paid for each and every one of us. Our wrongs–past, present and future–have been righted. How can it be so good?

Graduation is a scary thought. My last Recital at the studio is a simultaneously exciting (oh, oh, oh, we’re using bamboo staffs in Ascension!) and dreadful thought. But my freedom is forever. And I’ll focus on that.

Aquinnah xo

11/27/2016

The Stuff that Makes Me Happy

Happy belated Thanksgiving, America! At this–the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year–I have ever so many things to be thankful for. I’ve been blessed with a family who loves and supports me, with friends who grow alongside me, with teachers who want to see me improve and with a house that has green gables. I’m able to wake up each morning knowing that I am provided for, cherished and chosen for something that will make the lives of those I touch a little brighter. It is my hope that as the snow starts to fall and this semester ends, those people around me will know how much I support and cherish them.

And now that Thanksgiving Break is coming to a close, I remain grateful, in large part because I can finally play Christmas music without getting mean looks. The lights are up, and we just decorated our first real tree (you know, the kind that makes your house smell like a fir forest) in ten years. Good stuff.

It’s almost December, and that means lots of rehearsals and very little time for shopping. Between Achilles tendonitis for the second year in a row, two viruses and whatever I did to my shins yesterday, it has not been an easy semester. But I’ve learned a lot by watching. I’ve done a lot of praying. I taught myself to accept the FasciaBlaster. It’s frustrating, and painful, and like anyone, I occasionally have to hit the snooze button on my alarm. I made myself new boundaries, even when I wanted to push forward, and I’m glad I did. Knowing how to be kind to myself makes me feel like I’m doing something right.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be performing “Do You See what I See?” (worship), “Sweet Little Jesus Boy” (ballet) and “Carol of the Bells” (modern). On Friday, the Training Division and Advanced Modern will be performing locally, which I’m very excited about.

In other news, I’m finished choreographing my senior solo, “Welcome Home” and have picked a costume. In fact, all of my Recital costumes have been posted. Take a look…!

senior-solo-costume — Welcome Home (with pink ballet flats)

Aren’t they lovely? I’m thrilled. Our Training 3 costume will be black tights, a black leotard and a burgundy skirt with a belt, if I remember correctly.

Almost time for Rudolph. Have a wonderful week, beautiful dancers.

xo Aquinnah

06/12/201602/18/2019

Five Years of Ceaseless Adventure

I want to go. And I want to be human.

The beauty and eternal wonder of this earth–such a colorful, growing, changing earth–inspire my own creativity as the Creator makes for me a new adventure every single day. My name was written on His heart before I knew it myself, and I wanted to know it. My dreams, desires, fears and idiosyncrasies are always teaching me more and more about the living, breathing Aquinnah, in the midst of space and time. Like the earth, I’m always growing, always changing and adapting. It’s not always easy, not always fun– but it is a part of being human, and I am. I am only human. And I’m proud of that.

It is an overwhelming joy to wake up to a family who loves and cares for me, who is near even when far and who inspires me to continue growing and persevering, even when it’s hard. It is an enormous blessing to have friends who are honest with me, who stand up for me and who put up with my oddities on a daily basis in person, over the phone and through mail. It is an honor to learn from teachers who invest so much into making me stronger, healthier and generally happier. It is mind-boggling to know that you, my readers, from all over the world, have continued to read and support me for the last five years of my journey. I could never, never thank each beautiful person in my life enough for being. Just being. Being themselves, being in my heart and being human with me.

We survived Cecchetti exams, assistant teaching, Nutcracker, master classes and intensives, five pairs of pointe shoes, photo shoots, uncountable rehearsals and performances, sickness and injury, Firebird, an internship, tens of books and four birthdays. We thrived. And we’re not finished.

I live to scream without making a sound, moving out of time and into music. I love it. I wanted to come, and I wanted to dance. I want to inspire people as they inspire me.

So, thank you for five years of scribblings, and excitement, and worry and triumph. Thank you for listening without hearing my voice and following along with me as I continue to grow. This blog is a piece of my world– memories. And I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about them almost as much as I’ve loved living and writing about them.

Happy summer, lovelies! Twenty-three hours until dance. Ceaseless adventure.

This post is dedicated to the 125,000 beautiful babies who said, “I want to go,” and, today, were robbed of their chance and to Miss Bethanny, who told me to put chocolate milk in my cereal.

Much love,

I11.1

10/17/2015

Surviving Achilles Tendinitis

Tomorrow marks my sixth week with Achilles tendinitis, and I’ve had it up to here with it! My first and foremost recommendation to the dancers of the world: Don’t wait all summer to get your back adjusted. Chances are, if it feels like your tailbone is out of alignment, it is. And the longer you walk around lopsided, the harder it will be to walk correctly again. I would know. I wish I didn’t.

If, however, it’s too late for you, too, I’ve decided to put together an Achilles Tendinitis Survival Kit to make your life (and mine) a little easier. As Miss Tori put it: Achilles tendinitis feels about as good as having two broken legs, and there are a whole lot of ways to make it worse. But let’s be positive! Here’s how I’m making it better:

Chiropractor

As dancers, we know our bodies better than most people. If something’s not right, we tend to notice right away. Be positive (don’t talk your body down!) but don’t ignore what your body is telling you.

Cold Laser Treatment

My chiropractor recommended a 20-minute cold laser treatment on my Achilles. My first thought was, Ow, ow, ow, pain, no, bad idea, I think not, let’s leave before I get my legs melted off. But it’s actually painless. It took a few days, but I did notice a difference in my calves! From what I was told, it works miracles on some people!

Massaging

Massaging actually made a huge difference. My mom became a sports medicine expert in September, but she’s not really interested in making a career out of it, so you’ll have to find your own massage therapist… sorry about that.

Biofreeze

My life. Biofreeze has helped me more than anything else. No massaging required… a 30-second, DIY, get-better-quick remedy for the OMG, when did I turn into an injury magnet? moments.

Vitamin C

If you put the vitamin powder in applesauce, you can’t even taste how gross it actually is! Or just eat a kiwi.

Stuff I Can’t Recommend

Over-stretching… THAT was a bad idea. Balancing on releve also wasn’t great fun. Jumping… that’d be scary. And pointe. Even if you have gorgeous new Euro Stretch shoes that you’re dying to break in… don’t.

Stuff Other People Recommend

Hot baths, heating pads and essential oils (lavender and peppermint) are all things that seem to work for others but haven’t worked on me. That’s not to say they won’t help you along!

And finally…

I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND I DON’T PRETEND TO BE. I’m just a dancer, trying to recover quickly and documenting how 16-year-old me reacted to Achilles tendinitis. It is one of those things that can only heal with rest, and so I say once again: listen to your body. Be nice to yourself. Stay positive! You can beat this.

Aquinnah

09/27/2015

My Newly Discovered, Jumping Up and Down in a Hot and Sweaty Crowd Life

Title credits to Moriah… 🙂

I never expected to attend a school dance. I started homeschooling full-time in my freshman year of high school, and I never looked back. If I want to, I can graduate this year, and I do want to. I’m ready to move on, and my previous opinions on college have changed drastically. I might even consider going.

Last year, between eating spoonfuls of ketchup (which I can’t recommend) and making prank calls (“Hey, this is Alex…”), I signed a piece of paper and promised that I would attend Homecoming 2015 with Moriah. Adysen agreed, too. I was pretty sure it was a joke.

Needless to say, it wasn’t.

One flat iron and two curling irons later, my hair was ready, along with my makeup and even my nails, which I never bother to paint because PERFORMANCES, of course. I put jewelry on, including my great-grandmother’s pearls, and bought new shoes. And, after hours and hours and hours and HOURS of shopping… my parents found this beautiful dress. I could never express how thankful I am for those two who know me so well.

Ask Adysen, Moriah, Sarah or Olivia– I take on school dances like a ballerina. My whip and nae nae looks like second position preparation and croise, and I had to take off my heels before I could do any kind of jumping…. But it was fun! I got advice like, “Harness your inner monkey.” We had a big studio group, and we jumped, and danced and sang as a group. We laughed as a group. We ran around looking for people and water bottles. We watched glow sticks (and various people) fly across the gym. We also came up with seemingly random things like Cookie Butter and Icee and took this college-worthy picture:

So, thank you, Moriah, for making us go to homecoming. I won’t forget it, and neither will Adysen, since they decided to play Turn Down For What. #onpoint Thank you both for a winner of a shopping trip and an even better dance. You never know how strong you are until you dance in heels… or something like that.

Here’s to hot pink and sparkly butterflies, hot and sweaty crowds and our first and last homecoming as the three musketeers. I love you guys!

Aquinnah

09/17/2015

How Penguins Run

There used to be a relevant story as far as the title goes, but now I can’t remember the details.

I’ve never been a fan of change (who is, really?), so it’s been a challenging week. It wasn’t always nice, especially when I got my expanders yanked out yesterday, and I cried all over the dentist (They were happy tears to begin with, but then I realized just how much my mouth hurt….). More importantly, I’m adapting. I get up and finish my schoolwork as fast as I can, and one of these days, I’ll be finished with mathematics… forever! And once I reminded myself that 50+ little ballerinas aren’t as intimidating as they seem, I was able to settle into my new intern position. And, of course, it’s always nice to leave life’s various stresses behind and just dance for a few hours. This paragraph is dedicated to Moriah, who so kindly shared her good day with me last Wednesday. 🙂

Our first leaps/turns warm-up of fall semester was done outside in the sunshine. That was a first and, hopefully, not last. Some change is good… especially if you’re getting your vitamin D! I’ve never had 50+ students before, but I’m loving that experience, too. I’m so blessed, lovelies, to be spending my days with these kiddos. I was even able to sub for a 6-9-year-old tap class today, which was difficult, being that I’m not an expert in tap, but really satisfying.

Training and modern are awesome. We’ve welcomed a bunch of new sisters (and brothers too!) and teachers. It’s shaping up to be a wonderful year.

Intermediate Pointe 2 with Ms. Mia started on Monday, and I’ve already learned so much. Thank God for new shoes next month!

After three weeks of rehearsals, Advanced Modern and Training 2, along with a variety of other classes, performed at an annual carnival last weekend. It was an honor to learn and perform Symphony No 8. Looking forward to DDD!

So, it wasn’t the most comfortable week. I guess, a lot of times, uncomfortable is the way to go. That’s how we learn. And today was more comfortable; basic science can explain that. Humans adapt. We’re cool that way.

Love,

Aquinnah

07/14/2015

I Can Playlist

This afternoon, the “I Can” playlist was born. My mom had asked me, yesterday evening, to purchase a few songs that we’d been YouTubing for drives around town. It’s not often that someone hands you money and says, “Here, buy some upbeat music,” so I went ahead and mixed the new songs with some old ones and– viola! It’s been some time since I posted a playlist, and this one is too fun not to share.

I Can

Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON
All the Rowboats by Regina Spektor
Get Back Up by tobyMac
Every Move I Make by David Crowder Band
God Made Girls by RaeLynn
Eye On It by tobyMac
Firework Katy Perry Piano Cover by Nazareno Aversa
I’m Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli
Eyes Wide Open by Sabrina Carpenter
Happy Day by Kim Walker
Immortals by Fall Out Boy
Life Is a Highway by Rascal Flatts
Ready or Not by Britt Nicole
Something In the Water by Brooke Fraser
Your Love’s Like by Sabrina Carpenter

This list was inspired by Brandon Cormier’s message at Desperation 2015: Say I Won’t. I can dance. I can rise to the occasion– maybe in heels. I can make goals. I can shine. I can let go. I can be happy. I can live life to the fullest. I can love people. I can, and I will.

Enjoy your week, lovelies,

Aquinnah

Photo Credit: WATCH ME. summerbliss_oceanbreeze. 2015. We Heart It. Web. 13 July 2015. View photo.